I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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