He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
