Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
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