Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
