We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
