Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
only if we run a train.
done.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I'm too high and old for this...
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Please don't give away my fajitas
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
