i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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