ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
