That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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