He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
