Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
