I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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