Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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