Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
