I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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