A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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