i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
