Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
