I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
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Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
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My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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