How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
