If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
