Welp...herpes.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
