I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize