I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize