i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
the raccoons are back...
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