We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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