how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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