In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
