My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
