you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I wear drunk well.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
