I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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