East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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