May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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