i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
