ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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