He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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