Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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