I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
