WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
he wants to bone in the snuggie
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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