I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
