I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I licked your asshole in confidence.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
