If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
