Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
