Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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