Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
