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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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