I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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