doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
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I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
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We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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