Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
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