I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
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