My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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