i barfeds in our rink
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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