That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Randomize
