Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
