"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
