You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
