I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
