I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
