I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
