everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
