I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
